Cornwall in November?

Cornwall in November?

lee.r.adams

Of the more sensible inhabitants of the cold, rainy islands located in the North Western backwater of Europe (often referred to as the UK), most would take the opportunity to holiday in sunnier climes when winter rocks up on the doorstep. Others though, head to the West Country in search of horizontal rain, hail and freezing temperatures. But why, and what does Cornwall in November offer the beleaguered traveller? More than you might imagine.

Excuses Excuses

Apart from the 650 mile round trip, the 45mph winds and inclement weather patterns, what other reason was there for me to visit “Kernow” in the chillier stages of 2023? Well, I have a daughter who lives there, so it seems appropriate to visit once in a while.

Vik and I arriving in Cornwall (image may be over dramatized)

The last time we visited, was in May 2023 and at that time the prevailing winds were much more appealing. Literally. But when the weather is good and flights from Stansted to Newquay are £20 return, it would have been remiss of me to not take advantage of such an offer. Sadly though, this offer was temporary, so we had to resort to a more old fashioned system of transportation. Driving.

How Vikki thinks I drive when I’m actually doing 5mph around Tesco car park

Mapped Out

But rather than use Google Maps to get there I would have preferred the old school, OS paper map system, because then you can fold it somewhere around Swindon and voila! the border of Cornwall magically appears on the outskirts of Reading, rather than where it seems to reside; out in the distant, mid Atlantic horse latitudes.1

Folding the fabric of time

Wednesday

Now, because Vikki does this thing where she drives to a building in Witham, stays for the day and they give her money (she calls it work) we were unable to leave until Wednesday lunchtime, so we decided that perhaps an overnight stop en route was in order.

“It wazsh shuper at work today. We had a tashting sessshion….”

The Mitre

We stayed at a place called The Mitre Inn, in Sanford Orcas, Dorset, which has a quaint charm and was very reasonably priced, especially since we left without paying.

The Mitre. Their competitive pricing strategy was a surprise even to them.

Bonnie & Clyde

How we chuckled when a somewhat agitated owner phoned us later in the day asking us if we had any intention of settling the bill? We said no and hung up.2

How we may have looked leaving the Mitre Inn, before going on the run (to a record shop in Sherborne).

Thursday

We spent Thursday in nearby Sherborne, which is a very old but pleasing town, which sits on Dorset’s northern border with Somerset.

Parts of Sherborne are very old and dilapidated (stop doing your own jokes).

Ethel Who?

Now, due to a passing interest I hold in the olde worlde, I discovered two Saxon Kings were buried in Sherborne Abbey: King Æthelbald (who wasn’t) and King Æthelberht (who was). I’m going to be slightly disappointed if you’re now not saying to yourselves, “King who?”

Final resting place of the very famous King Æthelbald the bald…

Well, Æthelbald died in 860, and it appears he was not averse to a little scandal since he married his stepmother, ran a brothel and invented a reality TV series called Thee Only Waye Is Wessex.3

Æthelbald was also brother to the slightly more famous Alfred the Great (of Great British Bake Off fame).

“The lamination is poor, the pastry is overbaked, but I like the mirror glaze and the tuile has a great crunch.”

Abbey

We had a walk round the Abbey, was given the full history of the building (even though we only asked if they were doing Cream Teas) and continued our ‘pilgrimage’ to the west.

External view of Sherborne Abbey, Norman Vaulted Roof (including Third Reich Eagle in foreground) and view of Sherborne High Street (Cheap St.)

We didn’t get very far because I discovered Sherborne also has a record shop which is so old the owner could remember the 1960’s. It was called Ye Olde Recorde Shoppe and sold wooden records by The Beech Boys (ha ha).

Whilst some visited the Abbey and prayed for retribution, I came here to pray to the Gods of Rock ‘n’ Roll
I also picked up a nice copy of a ’63 classic (in Mono of course)

We then discovered Sherborne has an artisan coffee shop too, so I was really warming to the place.

We bought coffee and continued west.

Bean Shot | Your Site for the Best Roasted Coffee Beans

Greensplat

One thing I like about driving to Cornwall (and quite possibly the only thing) are the place names en route. Like Pathfinder Village, or London Apprentice; Greensplat and Merry Meeting; Posha and Polyphant. And yes, they really do exist. Just off the A30.

The Heavens

As we continued on the A30, we noted the weather had been particularly kind to us (for the time of year) until we got to Bodmin, about 15 minutes from our destination. That’s when the dark clouds descended, the heavens opened, and the horizontal rain began.

The A30 (west) at 16.45
The A30 (west) at 16.45 and 15 seconds

Friday

Now safely ensconced in Cornwall proper, we spent Friday afternoon at a place called The Pig (really) which is near Padstow. It’s an old manor house, now an upmarket restaurant and hotel, with on-site home grown fruit and veg and home reared animals (so not vegan).

The Pig (Harlyn Bay).
Quite a pleasant interior too

After spending the afternoon shovelling down several, small but perfectly formed plates, we went home, watched The Sinner on Netflix and planned a trip to Mevagissy the next day.

The Sinner – compulsive viewing (for me) when in Cornwall

Saturday

Now, Mevagissey often comes out as Megavissey (at least when I say it) so it seemed appropriate to sing the “Binley Mega Chippy” song over and over until people became slightly disturbed by the troubling mantra. Binley Mega Vissey…

The Binley Mega (Vissey) Chippy very much occupies the other end of the catering spectrum to The Pig at Harlyn Bay.

You sing “Binley Mega Chippy” to the tune of “For he’s a jolly good fellow” and that’s it. However, it doesn’t scan correctly, as there are 8 syllables in the original tune and only 6 in the Binley version, but that just adds to its simplistic charm (apparently).

However, Binley Megavissey, or just Mevagissey does have its own Mega Chippy ironically enough.

The queue here is somewhat shorter than at Binley

Other interesting activities in Mevagissey include the underwater museum (a must for all scuba divers).

No wellies, no entry

The Marine Aquarium where a permanent sign on the door reads “Back In 10 Mins.”

Other attractions are the harbour and the bracing lighthouse walk, where you can transform into a real life ice sculpture on the way.

Some ice sculptures taking a selfie
The harbour. Aesthetically pleasing but a little breezy.
Influencer and Social Media sensation Fido takes centre stage

But it also has a shop called Brocante which, when you go in you have money in your bank account but when you come out, it has mysteriously been transformed into a framed picture (of vinyl records admittedly).

Brocante. Looks harmless enough…

5th Dimension

I’ve been reading this book about 5th dimensional thinking, which is where you connect to your ‘higher-self”, and live without fear or judgement. Now, it suggests that you can ‘ask’ the universe for guidance in times of difficulty or confusion. So, regarding buying the picture I thought I’d give it a go.

In my experience, living in 5D can result in unnecessary financially related dilemmas

So, Vikki gave me a 50 pence piece and I put it out there. I flicked it into the air. Heads I would go with my head i.e. the logical, rational decision e.g. “No.” Tails would be the heart driven, emotional “Yes” decision.4

This 50p cost me more than 50p

It was the most expensive 50p I’ve ever had. So, my bank account is empty but I have a nice picture on the wall as a reminder of my halcyon days of financial stability.

Classic Vinyl (detail) by Faye Reynolds-Lydon. Some vinyl transcends the value of money

Sunday

We left on Sunday but the 5D imagery was clearly having a profound and powerful effect on me. Because this is what happened.

We drove up the A30, the A303, the M3, M25 (South), through roadworks, the Dartford tunnel, onto the A13 and back to Maldon. And didn’t hit any traffic at any time.

Has this ever happened?

Stonehenge

Not even at Stonehenge. It slowed, but anyone who’s used the A303 at Stonehenge will know that sometimes you’re there so long it feels as if you arrived before Stonehenge even existed.

Stonehenge – causing traffic jams since 3000BC

Now, I know what you’re thinking: multidimensional, higher plane transformation I can accept, but no traffic at the Dartford Tunnel? What utter nonsense!

Cornwall in November – Conclusion

So, that’s my little trip to Cornwall in November. Cold yes, but surprisingly dry. And there are places to go, things to do, stuff to buy, Mega Chippies to eat at (and more refined restaurants) and no traffic on the way home. Perhaps I was the only one foolish enough to think driving to Cornwall in November was a good idea. But get this: it was.

Thank you for your time.

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  1. The Horse Latitudes are an area of ocean where becalming winds prevail. In times past, cargo ships travelling to the New World could be stuck for weeks at a time. To preserve water, horses being transported would be left behind.
  2. It was a mix-up with Booking.com and we did pay…eventually.
  3. Sadly only the step-mother part is thought to be true.
  4. This is not strictly 5th dimensional thinking, this is gambling on a two-horse race

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