If you’ve not read Part 1, you can do so by clicking here

Track 2 – “Persephone” – The Girl

In Part 1 of this ongoing saga, you will have learned a little about the 70’s band Wishbone Ash, Aunty Geraldine, David Bowie, The Unholy Trinity and how the CIA invented 70’s Prog Rock (spoiler alert – they didn’t). In Part 2 you’ll discover “Jane with 2”, my Temporal Lobe, more about school, the 70’s and Wishbone Ash.

Annalena

The woman Martin Turner had in mind when he wrote the lyrics to Blowin’ Free was a Swedish girl by the name of Annalena Nordstrom who he had met while in a previous band called Empty Vessels.  Playing regularly in and around Torquay in Devon, he met her while she was holidaying with about 200 other Swedish girls.  She was from Gothenburg (or Göteberg if you’re a native), tall, blonde and healthy, “unlike me” he recalled. 

Janealena

My personal incarnation of the girl whose hair was “Golden Brown” was a girl at my school by the name of Jane Alldridge. Admittedly, not nearly as exotic sounding as Annalena, but she was certainly no Plain Jane. And she was not to be confused with another girl in the same year called Jane Aldridge, with one “L”.  The 2^nd “L” in the surname was quite an important and distinguishing factor.  However, it wasn’t that I didn’t like Jane “with one L” Aldridge.  I did.  But not in the way I liked Jane with 2 “L’s” Alldridge. 

Also, she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.  And trust me, at fifteen, I’d seen a few.  After all, I was born in the 60’s, and that meant regularly watching singers on TV like Dusty Springfield.  What was it about the blonde hair and those panda eyes that I found alluring even though I was only eight?  Then there were film actresses like Brigitte Bardot and Raquel Welch to contend with.  So, have you seen Shalako or 1 Million Years BC?  Well I have, and I have no idea what either film is about because the storyline was never the primary reason for tuning in. 

One Million Years B.C. – Film Review

Shalako – Film Review

Jane with 2

But back to Jane with 2 L’s.   To my mind at least, she was perfect in every way.  And when I say perfect, I mean in the unblemished manner created in the mind of a fifteen-year-old boy who has serious issues with hormonal imbalances careering around his body and has no idea how to switch any of them on or off.  In that way perfect.

But having two Jane Al(l)dridge’s in the same year wasn’t the end of it.  To complicate matters further, there was also an Ann Chapman and an Anne Chapman in our year.  And they shared the same birthday.  We also had Roy Phillips and Colin Phillips, both ginger, who both swore they were brothers (they weren’t).

Lee & Leigh

But the nearest I got to the confusion was me and my friend Leigh Stephens.  We sat together a fair bit.  In Maths we had a teacher called Mrs Hook who had a wonky eye.  Sometimes she’d say “Lee (or Leigh), what’s the answer?” And I’d say “Twenty-two Miss,” And she’d say “Was I looking at you?” And I’d say, “Er, you half were…” at which point she’d bristle and shout “Leigh Stephens! What is the answer?” and he’d reply, “Twenty-two Miss,” and she’d say with a triumphant sigh, “Thank you,” and we’d be able to continue the lesson. 

Jane with 2 had hair that was golden brown and not only that it blew free like a cornfield every time we went outside to switch from one class to another. 

“She was far away, I found it hard to reach her.”

Not only was she in the same year as me, but we were also in the same class most of the time too.  But that was a double-edged sword in reality.  The nearer she was, conversely the further away she appeared to be.  And she lived in Broxbourne which was miles away from Harlow (but only 10 minutes on the train).  Her hair was straight, shoulder length, parted in the middle with a fringe.  At the ends it had a light, soft curl to it and it bounced slowly around her shoulders as she walked, just like a Silvikrin advert. 

Live and Let Die

She was slim, very attractive and reminded me of Jane Seymour in “Live and Let Die”, the 1973 Bond film which happened to be one of my favourite films of all time.  Partly because it was a James Bond film, partly because of the humour injected into it by Roger Moore, but mainly because I couldn’t take my eyes off Jane Seymour, or Solitaire, her character in the film.  Mind you, taking into account her knowledge of Tarot, I think it’s fair to say she was one card short of a full deck considering Roger Moore was running rings around her with his multiple “Lovers” card routine.

Lovers

Even my rudimentary knowledge (via Google) recognises that the Lovers card represents many things including complimentary energies, love or friendships.  It doesn’t mean James Bond is going to come round here and knock you up on a train.  Which is what she appeared to think it meant, because that’s exactly what happened.  What a victim.

Anyway, Jane with 2 didn’t have any issues with Tarot or Jimmy B that I was aware of, but as she wandered around the school, purposely being casually hot and sexy without ever knowing it, I swooned, even in the middle of winter which is where this story begins and ends.  Jane with 2 did have one imperfection, if I can allow myself the indignation of referencing it as such.  Jane with 2 wore braces on her teeth and ordinarily this would’ve been enough to invite all manner of mental and psychological abuse like “Hey! Metal Mickey” or “Oi! Robot Gob” but of course Jane with 2 swam in an atmosphere way above the daily abusive activities of the bullies from the 5^th Year of Netteswell Comprehensive.

She wandered around the school, purposely being casually hot and sexy without ever knowing it…

Aphrodite

Jane with 2 lived in the rarefied air reserved for the most popular girls in the school, primarily because she was pleasant, attractive, well mannered, considerate (not always), intelligent and worked hard.  She was a goddess to me, like a modern-day compendium of Aphrodite and Venus, and possessed all the qualities of both which numbered more than the two key conditions I should have been using to determine who was, and who wasn’t acceptable girlfriend material.  Namely, whether 1.) she was female, and 2.) had a pulse.  And as I shuffled about the school in my Parka, zip-up cardigan and high waistband flares (oh yes, the boys all loved you but I was a mess) I reflected on heavenly deities of the ancient world and whether Jane and me would ever play Tarot together, on a train or otherwise; I wasn’t fussy. 

And what happened when I listened to Argus too often?  Certain lyrics crept slowly, under the cover of night, into the deeper recesses of my mind and appeared in my conscious thoughts as if I had imagined the words myself without any intervention from a third party.  My mind, as a direct consequence of this, was permanently on red alert when it came to thoughts of Jane. 

Compatibility

The human brain is separated into a number sections or ‘lobes’ which deal with different aspects of your personality; for example the Frontal Lobe deals with decision making, whereas the Temporal Lobe deals with memories.  Here they are then, as imagined by me, in my head in 1975, having a little chat.

Frontal Lobe (FL): “Hey, I was just trying to decide on whether to ask Jane out, you know, on a date.”

Temporal Lobe (TL): “Which Jane?”

FL: “Alldridge of course.”

TL: “Is that with one “L” or two?”

FL: “Two.”

TL: “Oh.”

FL: “What do you mean, “Oh”?”

TL: “Well, I mean….you know…”

FL: “No, I don’t know.”

TL: Like, well, is that a good idea? For a start, are you two even compatible?

FL: “Compatible?  In what way?

TL: “Well, she lives in a large, detached house with a large garden that overlooks a river in leafy Broxbourne.”

FL: “And?”

TL: “And you live in a small mid-terraced council house with a garden that overlooks the garages in not so leafy Harlow.  And you also dress like you lost a bet.”

FL: “So?”

TL: “So what could you possibly offer her that she doesn’t already have, apart from an STD?”

FL: “I don’t have an STD.  Do I?”

Speaking Terms

TL: “The point is, why would she even talk to you, let alone go out with you?”

FL: “You’re quite negative, aren’t you. In lots of ways.”

TL: “I’m quite realistic, in lots of ways.”

FL: “Anyway, she spoke to me, in our English lesson.”

TL: “Good grief! She asked to borrow your pen.  I was there, remember?”

FL: “Yes but it was the way she asked.”

TL: “You mean directly and without even the slightest flicker of emotion?”

FL: “Oh, you noticed that too.”

Cine Films

TL: “Yes I did.  She’s not exactly giving you the “old come on” is she?”

FL: “I’m not entirely sure I know what the “old come on” is if I’m honest.”

TL: “That’s what worries me.  But maybe all is not lost.  I have some memories here, let’s take a look and see if they can help you decide what’s best.”

FL: “Great, I love looking at old Cine Films.”

TL: “Here’s the first one.  So, here you are, 5 years old at Broadfields infants school.”

FL: “Who are the other children?”

TL: “That’s Robbie Tucker, Vincent Croft and Jacky Nixon.”

FL: “And who’s the girl with the white handbag?”

TL: “That’s Lorraine Wright.  We used to like her.”

FL: “Did we?  What did we like about her?”

TL: “You tell me.  I only deal with memories, you deal with the decisions.”

FL: “Well, can’t you remember what any of the contributory factors were?”

TL: “It appears not. No.”

FL: “Ok, so what happened next?”

TL: “You decided to tell our next-door neighbour we liked her, she told our brother and sister who ridiculed us for years afterwards.”

FL:” Years?”

TL: “Well maybe not years, perhaps a week. But it felt like years.”

FL: “What did they do?”

Jennifer Eccles

TL: “Hang on just let me bring that online.  Ah, here it is. There was a song by The Hollies called Jennifer Eccles and they used to sing it over and over.  “Lee loves Jennifer Eccles, la-la-la-la-la-la.” You’d go crazy, and I mean wild, so they’d sing it even more.”

FL: “So, not a good decision by me then.”

TL: “Not one of your better moments, no.  Oh.  This is odd; the Lorraine Wright memory was from 1966, but the Hollies song wasn’t released until 1968.  The dates don’t match.”

FL: “Well, you’re in charge of memories, I’m only in charge of decisions, remember?”

TL: “Hmm, must be a glitch in the matrix.”

FL: “So, was she ever our girlfriend?”

TL: “Doesn’t look like it, I mean I can’t find anything that suggests she was.  I think you decided you were too fearful of rejection to allow yourself the possibility of having a girlfriend.  Your mantra was, “If you like a girl, act like a rabbit in the headlights of a car.” 

FL: “How many girlfriends have we had so far then?”

TL: “So far we’ve had the grand total of…..let’s just count them all up… shouldn’t take long.  Here we are. So, we’ve had zero.  Zilch. Nil. Nada.  None.”

FL:  “Ok, don’t rub it in.  So why then? Why haven’t we had a girlfriend yet? Is it because we’re a hideous mutant or what?”

Flares

TL: “Well no, although I don’t think the high waistband flares and parka combo are really selling our best assets.  Besides, we had a bit of a torrid time when we were young.  We had Meningitis when we were 18 months old, spent 6 months in hospital and almost died.  That caused complete memory loss and as a consequence serious abandonment issues developed because we’d forgotten who our parents were.”

FL: “Oh.”

TL: Yes, oh indeed.  So, I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself for acting like a rabbit in the headlights.  You have good reasons for making those decisions even if you don’t always know why.  Anyway, here’s another memory.  Listen to this.  ”She told me you can try but it’s impossible to find her…”

Ash Again

FL: “What’s that?”

TL: “It’s a song by Wishbone Ash.  And here we are, in our bedroom, playing it on our brother’s turntable.  And he’s about to come in and tell us for the millionth time not to touch his stuff.”

FL: “Sounds about right.  Tell me about the song.” 

TL: “I think it’s about you…well me…us!”

FL: “It is.  It’s telling us something isn’t it.”

TL: “Yes, it’s telling you not to be a total fucking bell end again, is what it’s telling you.”

FL: “No! it’s telling me to ask Jane out because not to would be to disavow all my keenly curated knowledge of the human species and the inner workings of the female psyche.”

TL: “No, it’s telling you not to be a fucking bell end again.”

FL: “I’m going to ask her.  It’s my destiny.”

TL: “I’ve literally just presented to you the ridicule you exposed yourself to due to your previously poor decision making and here you are carrying on like it never happened!  I give up.”

“Not to would be to disavow all my keenly curated knowledge of the human species and the inner workings of the female psyche.”

My Frontal Lobe (1975)

And so, every morning as I alighted for another school day, a disembodied voice whispered in my ear, “In my dreams, everything was alright, in your schemes you can only try.”  And suddenly I knew what I had to do.

Next Up – Track 3 – Queen Of Torture – The Call